Funny dorm stories

While backpacking I mostly stayed in dorms. Which was a lot of fun and caused some funny situations. I wrote this story for travelingsoutheastasia.com, but since it´s related to my travels I wanted to share it here as well. As I said on my Facebook page, if you think it´s about you... well it probably is!

Staying in dorms is in my opinion definitely a must if you’re traveling alone. I mean, you can get a luxury five star hotel with a nice king-size bed, a bathtub, a minibar, a tv, air-conditioning. Also you as a backpacker in that hotel will be able to: see some lovely young couples who are on a holiday, some old people who are still in love which can be cute or disgusting, some families (yes that kid is peeing in the swimming pool), and potentially see someone who you really fancy until you realize that person is on a honeymoon.

Or, what you can and should do, as a backpacker. Stay in a hostel. Which can be a hostel with a really good rating or a shitty hostel where every dollar, euro, baht or dong is too much to pay. Cause staying in hostels is fun! In the last four months I’ve stayed in some really nice and terrible hostels, I had great recommendations from other travellers or just checked the lovely internet. However, sometimes it’s not the place, it’s the people. And so I found out. I had some really funny moments in dorms, some of these things happened to myself and some to other people in the dorm, who I will not name. Here you go three funny random things that happened in dorms during my trip.

Sleeping in a 38 people dorm

Staying in a 38 people dorm in Koh Phangan during the full moon for new year’s sounds like the perfect place to have a well-deservedgood sleep right? As a preparation for new year I tried sleeping ‘early’, which was a challenge since the music was really loud and the door had this lovely bleep-bleep-bleep sound ‘every time it opened.

I’m not the kinda person who will tell people to shut up, because normally i’m a loud person myself. I fall asleep easily, so even in this not sleepy environment i managed to fell asleep, after approximately three hours. While I was sleeping like a baby, since the bed was actually comfy some drunk people came back to the dorm. The guy from the bed next to me, who I saw in the morning, with a chick in his bed, who I never talked to, decided to… poke me. Yes, he poked me and said: Hi! Such a nice guy, I was sleepdrunk and said hi back and turned myself. After a minute he poked me again and told me he was sorry for waking me up. Well I’m easy going so I told him it was fine, and told him to sleep well and turned myself again. I guess this was not really what he was looking for. “Drunk-guy-next-bed” decided to turn me, jump on me and ask me if we could have sex. I was sleepdrunk, which is not to be confused with being drunk. So I didn’t really understand if this was a dream, nightmare or real life. I stared at him and asked if it was ok if I just slept. Well this was ok, so he said. I turned myself, again. But I guess I should’ve asked if it was ok to sleep alone. Cause after I turned I felt something, someone… spooning me. Yes the “Drunk-guy-next-bed” was now “Drunk-guy-in-my-bed”. Well if he can poke me and ask stuff, so can I! So I poked him and asked if he could please leave me alone and hop over to his own bed. Nooooo, nooooo, can I please stay? Can we just cuddle? Well I do love cuddles, I really do, but not like this. So I said no, he said yes, I said no, he said yes. Well you get the idea. At this point I was really tired and he was not really planning on getting out of my bed so I told him, no cuddles, just sleep. I turned myself, for the final time… and woke up a bit later. AND HE REPEATED, can we please have sex?? Noooooooo we can’t dude! Well in the end he was drunk and tired as well so he fell asleep in my bed… yes I gave up. When I woke up he was holding me as well, really tight, I escaped my bed and went for breakfast. Afterwards I came back and jumped on him: CAN WE HAVE SEX?! He woke up and looked at me really weird. He had no memory of happened the night before and told me he was sorry. After that we had a normal conversation and actually got to know each other. He turned out to be a nice guy. Always a good way to meet people! But I did gave him the advice not to hit on girls like this anymore.

Getting seasick in a dorm

Sex in dorms is something that happens every once in a while. It’s something you can accept, or you can decide on getting really mad. Well like I said, i’m easy going. I don’t mind if it’s just for a bit I can just put my music in and ignore it. But when you’re feeling really sick, and you actually already have tears in your eyes it’s a little bit different. I hate to be a cockblock. So I figured when this guy in the bed above me, who I travelled with for a bit, and who was actually a really nice guy, came back in the dorm that I should just let him do his thing. I was annoyed because I really wanted to sleep since I felt like shit and would have 24 hours of solo traveling the next day. I thought well I can deal with this for a bit, I feel like shit anyway so who cares. So I putted in my earplugs with my music really loud. The hostel was really really nice, but unfortunately the beds were like most hostel bunk beds not really stable. So I was on the bottom and began to feel seasick. My bed was shaking like a rollercoaster, I love rollercoasters, but not like this. And even worse, I could hear the discussion about the sex. Everything was not really going as it should so they kept on tryin…tryin…. And then someone came in, put on the lights and laughed at them. So it stopped. At this point there were more people in the room. I fell back asleep and was happy. For a little bit. My bed was shaking again, people were laughing and everything but they didn’t care. At some point I managed to fall asleep. But the next day when I woke up the horror wasn’t over. The worst was yet to come. One, I guess, USED condom landed in my bed. When I stepped out of my bed there were a few (different flavours as well!) on the floor. There were some shorts in my bed as well. If I didn’t know any better I would have thought I had sex myself. Afterwards I told the guy that I was happy that he had safe sex, and that he should definitely continue on doing that. But just not when the girl in the bed under it feels like dying already.

Great wingwoman

As you read before I’m not exactly a cockblocker, i’m the opposite. I’m a great wingwoman! So I was hanging with some guys, just being the great wingwoman as I am I totally hooked this guy up with a girl. Kinda, I guess he had a good game himself as well. But as the evening was coming to an end this girl came to me, and asked me if she should hook up with him. Well hell yeah I responded. So she went back to him, they kissed a bit and that was it. But she came back and asked me if I was staying in the same dorm and if I would mind if she had sex there. Well this guy just started traveling so off course I didn’t wanna cockblock this great opportunity. So I told her it was fine cause I wasn’t planning on going home anytime soon (this was a lie I was done with the evening, but hey i’m nice). So  they left and I figured I could socialize a bit more in this club. I found this random guy and told him about my situation, he was a nice person to chat with for a bit. After 45 minutes we both thought that I could go to my dorm for some sleep. He assisted on walking me back. When we came in front of my hostel there was this really nice surprise. The newly-backpacking-couple didn’t even made it to the dorm! They were kissing on the street. All that waiting for nothing! I waited for a bit more, even watched a movie, made some snapchats for my friends. And got tired of it so went to the dorm. Nothing was going on there, so I was relieved, bedtime! Well off course this wasn’t true. My bed was in the corner, and my pillow was near to his (now their) pillow. As soon as I tried sleeping, they tried the opposite. Just my luck! I slept on the other side of my bed with my music really loud. Also the guy climbed to the bed on top of his to ask his mate for condoms. Classic night!

It’s all part of the experience

These stories might be a bit disturbing, if you’ve never stayed in a dorm before. For the people who already got some dorm experience I bet some of this stuff should sound completely normal. But for the people who read this and are not sure about dorms anymore… In the end even my weird experiences like the guy who woke me up, or waking up by people having sex, never made me not-wanna-stay-in-dorms. Dorms are funny and a great social place. It’s a nice place to meet people, mostly better during the day. And well, when you’re old you have something fun to tell the grandkids. Or well, maybe not the grandkids but at least you can look back at your travels and laugh!